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Is There Life After Love? How to Get the Spark Back in Our Love Lives and Avoid Splitsville by Jaci Rae

by Jaci Rae

Is your relationship is on the brink of disaster? Jaci Rae - The Rae of Hope - Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown at a Time and The Indie Guide to Music, Marketing and Money

Whether we want to admit it or not, even for those who are adamant in their denial of watching the tabloid reports, we're all affected by the news of celebrity break-ups.

The latest rounds to end the season in a not so bright fashion are: Nichole Richie and Adam Goldstein; Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen; Christina Applegate and Johnathan Schaech. With rumors flying about Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's break-up on the horizon; millions of pages dedicated to the looming divorce of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. Where's the hope for us?

How can we, as "mere mortals," believe in ever lasting love? In the back of our minds we think that these celebrities have everything any couple could possibly need to enjoy the happiest "ever after" life imagined. I can't tell you how many times I hear people say, "If only we had more money;" "A bigger house;" "If I were better looking;" "If I lost more weight;" "My life would be perfect;" "Our relationship wouldn't have so much stress;" "I would be happy."

We look at the famous and say, "They are the "beautiful" people." "They travel the world." "Have beautiful mansions and lots of money." "They have an army of people waiting to do their every bidding: publicists, managers, accountants, housekeepers and chiefs." "If only I were in their shoes."

What a great example and lesson to all of us "not so fortunate" people who aren't blessed with their lives and the kind of money they posses; that money doesn't make a relationship happy. Time, effort and determination are what make a relationship thrive. I'm not implying they don't put the time and effort into their relationships, only that all the things we say, "If only we had…" won't make our relationships last longer or be happier than theirs were.

Key factors to a lasting relationship are laughter, a sense of humor about life as well as a lot of hard work. These three things have always been a common thread for every successful and happy relationship I have interviewed over the years. Every one of them say the same thing: They work hard; don't go to bed angry, resolving "issues" right away; and they laugh with each other.

A step that can help you regain the spark in your love life is something I call Soul Gazing. It's a simple technique of gazing into your partner's eyes. I usually recommend 15 minutes, but in the beginning, 2-3 is fine. No talking, no looking away. I have seen this technique strengthen relationships that were already strong and help those relationships that were on the brink of disaster. Try it. If you want to have the love you deserve, remember my simple rule: Love is a gift, it's not a right. Love is a decision, it's not a feeling. Make the decision to make your relationship right, so you too can have the lasting and deep love you deserve. Jaci Rae - "The Rae of Hope TM" Copyright 2006

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