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Inward and Outward Responsibility

by Judy Wright

Parenting: Inward and Outward Responsibility
© 2006 Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator
http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Childhood is about growing into a respectful, contributing member of society. It is an opportunity to practice social and life skills that will be necessary out in the real world. We need to prepare them to be as independent as possible, because at some time there will not be a loving Mom to solve problems and they will have to assume personal responsibility..

As toddlers, there are many things they can begin to do to feel a part of the family unit. Allow and expect them to do those things they are capable of doing. Make sure your expectations are reasonable. But do understand that we all learn by doing.

You will find two different and distinct components of responsibility: outward and inward.

Outward responsibility deals with everyday life skills such as doing chores,
brushing teeth, returning videos on time, and feeding the dog. Each family has its own list of what they consider important, so we will not discuss particular tasks. Rather, we want you to focus on nurturing a positive attitude and good habits in your children - habits that will help them to be productive and reliable.

. Inward responsibility deals with attitudes, beliefs, and values. Being inwardly responsible means admitting mistakes, treating others as you would like to be treated, being unselfish, and caring about other people's health, property and feelings.

We frequently get bogged down with the frustration of dirty rooms and forget about more important factors like inward motivation.

Effective discipline is setting reasonable limits on our children at different developmental stages but giving them choices so they can learn to form their own opinions. Our goal is to help them become self-disciplined and to learn to think through problems without asking or being told what to do in every situation.

Attitude and Confidence

Aptitude and competence or the ability to accomplish a task is not nearly as important and vital to a happy life as attitude and confidence. This is the area where we help our children build self-esteem, problem solving skills, a can-do outlook, and positive expectations toward life.

A cooperative environment is one where everyone in the family wins; there are no losers. By learning to support and assist each other in small daily tasks, we set the stage for encouragement and a willingness to become self-reliant.

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