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Let me describe to you a common scene in many households. Teen comes in from school and wants to talk to their parent. The parent is doing something else (washing dishes for example). The teen talks, the parent continues to do their chore, most likely with their back to the teen. The teen continues to talk, the parent responds and the conversation is over. Is there anything wrong with this? Do you like it if someone does this to you? Do you feel truly listened to? Do you think your teen does?
During the teen years the emphasis on quality time turns to quantity. Our teens want us to be around although they may not necessarily want to spend time with us. When they want to talk, when they decide to let us in we need to be ready to listen and really listen. By continuing with the task, are we giving our teen our full attention, are we moving closer to them or further away? Chances are our teen leaves not feeling fully listened to and may think twice next time.
So I am going to give you a simply strategy that you can use every time your teen wants to talk to you. It is called listening form the heart. You simply stop what you are doing, look at your teen and point your heart towards them. This strategy ensures that you have to move and have to look at your teen. It will involve you leaning slightly towards them and have your left side further towards them than your right. Then you stop, breathe and listen. This simple strategy will also remind you that you love your teen and you will respond from that place.
It really is simple and effective and if used regularly you will find that your relationship moves to a different level and your teen will begin to talk to you more.
Check out how you are doing and ask your teen, "Do you feel truly listened to?"
Ask what you need to do to improve it and be willing to learn.