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Does your child exhibit separation anxiety at daycare/preschool drop-off? Do you spend more than 15 minutes struggling to calm your child's fears? You are not alone. All parents at one time or another have experienced guilt, fear and remorse at the very thought of leaving their hysterical child in the arms of a non-relative.
Separation anxiety affects both parents and children. Children display their discontent and fears by throwing temper tantrums, clinging onto parents for long periods and ignoring attempts by their daycare/preschool provider to calm their fears. Parents display separation anxiety by hesitating to exit the facility, even going so far as to perform disappearing acts when their child is not looking.
To help ease separation anxiety, change must start with the parents. Parents must first calm their own fears and insecurities. When children see parents more relaxed and confident at drop-off they begin to slowly warm up to their new care provider and adjust to their new setting. Here are some helpful ideas for parents to help ease separation anxiety with their children.
Temporary Tattoos
Visit your local grocery store and ask your children to choose a temporary tattoo of their favorite cartoon character. At bedtime, discuss going to daycare/preschool and offer to place the tattoo on their hand as a special reminder that you are always with them. Remind them at drop-off that when they look at the tattoo that it's a sign of how much you love them and a promise that you'll be picking them up after work or at the end of the school day.
Popsicle Treats
Popsicles, especially on hot days, are not only a great treat for kids, but a creative way to make separation tears go away. First, purchase a box with a variety of primary and secondary colors. Use the popsicles to teach him/her about different colors. At daycare/preschool drop-off ask your children which color they would like to have at the end of the day. When they give their answer, follow-up by asking them to think about the the flavor associated with that color while you're away. Reassure them that you can't wait to hear their thoughts about the flavor.
Surprise Boxes
Keep surprise boxes in your vehicle. Explain to your children that they may open the surprise box if they're good throughout the week. The surprise box may contain baby photos of your child, their favorite storybook, a favorite snack and/or a simple craft item that can quickly be put together.
Healthy Snacks
Visit your local grocery store with your children and ask them to choose a variety of healthy kid snacks to pack for daycare/preschool. Many kids, who are adjusting to daycare/preschool, need something familiar to hold onto as they try to feel secure and comfortable being away from their parents. If your daycare/preschool provider prepares meals, gradually reduce the number of snacks in your child's lunch box until he starts eating foods prepared by the provider.
Bedtime Stories
Visit your local library and borrow books that focus on children going to daycare/preschool. Read these books at bedtime. From the pictures in the storybook, your child will see other children going to daycare/preschool and will understand that they are not the only one experiencing separation anxiety. Always be sure to ask about their day and try to determine if they are adjusting slowly or not adjusting at all. After a week or two, most children adjust nicely to new daycare/preschool settings. For some children it may take longer.
If you suspect that your child is still not adjusting, try to drop by the daycare/preschool unannounced to see if they're interacting with other kids. You should also look at the interaction with the daycare/preschool provider, and observe the types of activities your child is involved in. If you have concerns, discuss them with your care provider and allow time for adjustment. If there is no change after about a week or two you may want to try looking into other child care options, which may be better suited to your child.