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Let's face it. The teen years can be tough - for the parents and the children both.
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Helping Your Teens Through Trials
Let's face it. The teen years can be tough - for the parents and the children both. Several factors make this such a vulnerable time. One of the first things, of course, is hormones. Other stresses can be peer pressure, grades, performance expectations, or relationship problems. Violence and drugs in the schools can cause great anxiety. Inexperience is also at the root of some of it. We have been through a lot of these situations and have survived. We know it's not the end of the world. But our teenagers are in the process of learning that.
So how do we guide them safely "through the fire without being burned"? I am not a psychologist or a professional counselor. I am a mom and a teacher. I am still learning and struggling through their ages and stages myself. I am writing about some of the concepts the Lord has taught me in my own life. These are the things I try to convey to my sons as they encounter the inevitable difficulties in life.
First and foremost, God loves you and cares more than you could ever imagine. "He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32) If God gave the ultimate, His Son, of course He will give us everything else that is good for us. You can't escape His love. He knows when a sparrow falls and the number of hairs on your head. He cares about every detail of your life. Nothing is too small and nothing is too big. He cares that you were dumped by your girlfriend, or that the kid in Math class made fun of you in front of everyone. He sympathizes when you didn't make the catcher position you wanted so badly, or were cut in the cheerleading tryouts.
Secondly, I try to impress on them that God is in control. One of my favorite sayings that my pastor tells us it this: God is sovereign. He is in control. He always wins. If you want to be on the winning side, then be on God's side. I love that reminder. God is greater than our problems and nothing is impossible for Him. If He could create the universe and keep it in perfect working order for billions of years, He can easily handle any problem that you throw at Him. Sometimes we subconsciously think, "This is too big for God. I'd better handle it myself." We laugh at how ridiculous that sounds, but occasionally, in our doubt, I think we reason that way.
Difficulties can be blessings in disguise. If we will turn to God with them, they will bring us closer to Him. We learn to depend on Him and not on ourselves. We start to be hungry for His word. We learn to love the Scriptures and realize they will speak to every need. They are powerful over every situation. Problems also make us humble. Humility is a quality we all need, because "humility comes before honor". (Proverbs 15:33)
Trials cause us to become stronger and more mature in our walk with the Lord. Our faith is put to the test. James 1:2-4 states that we should rejoice when we go through trials. Why? Because the testing of our faith develops perseverance, and that, in turn, makes us mature and complete, lacking nothing. My sons are weight lifters. I often remind them that they didn't get those big muscles by lifting a soup can in each hand! They progressively used bigger and heavier weights. In comparison, we don't become a strong, stable, secure person of integrity and quality when life is always easy. There are going to be ups and downs, mountains and valleys, and we have to be spiritually fit for them.
God can bring good out of what was meant for evil. Look at the story of Joseph to see that illustrated perfectly. Romans 8:28 says that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. Some of the worst ordeals I have been through have actually turned out to be good for me. It is all part of God's loving work in your life.
In conclusion, I would like to compare this to a winning football team. The players have endured long, hard practices. The coach probably yelled at them. In the game, they get knocked down, but they get back up. They get bruised, battered, and maybe even break a bone. They may not play perfectly. They may make mistakes, miss a pass, miss a block or a tackle. However, when they win, they find out it was worth all they endured.
It is the same in life. We get bruised and broken at times, emotionally, or socially. Sometimes we fail. We are human. Yet if we go through life hand in hand with our loving Heavenly Father, we come through each ordeal renewed, restored, and made whole. He makes something beautiful out of us. We have the victory, because, after all, we ARE on the winning side!
About the Author
Inez Haythorn is a Christian wife, mother, elementary school teacher, pianist, and freelance writer. Her main writing interests are Christian writing, and writing about lifestyles and memoirs of the past. She is the publisher of Christian Family Treasures, Heirloom Memories, and Cherished Collections. Her goal is to glorify and honor God, and bless and help others. Copyright 2003. All rights reserved. http://www.christianfamilytreasures.com http://www.heirloom-memories.com http://www.cherishedcollections.com