Home >
Home And Family >
Parenting
FAMILY: MINDFUL PARENTING
©2006 Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator
http://www.ArtichokePress.com
So often we do unconscious parenting, just getting through the day without really thinking or planning for what we want to teach our children. It is not that we don't love our family; it is just that the love sometimes gets lost in translation through poor communications or unskillful methods.
I would like to challenge you to be more conscious of how your words and actions affect your children. By changing the family's attitude into one of positive expectancy rather than anticipation of negative outcomes, you make the atmosphere more pleasant and welcoming to everyone. Hopefully you will find some techniques here that will assist you in your efforts to have a more cooperative and harmonious home.
It is the responsibility of parents and extended families to teach our children how to succeed in life as contributing members of society. Schools, churches, Girl Scouts, YMCA, and other youth organizations can only supplement the lessons children receive at home. Too many children today are not being taught basic lessons of character by parents but are learning by osmosis through TV. It is time to unplug the TV (or limit the viewing, to a number equal to hours spent reading or restricted to just on the weekends) and plug our families into each other.
TAKE A LONG RANGE VIEW
I always encourage parents to look down the road fifteen years to the adult, instead of right now at the child who is balking at unloading the dishwasher. Yes, it would be easier on you just to put the dishes away yourself, but what does your child learn when you do his chores for him? Almost all learning is accomplished through trial and error, or the natural or logical consequence of actions.
If we as parents step in and prevent the error or consequence, we have just prevented the learning. We all need to be able to make mistakes and errors in judgment in order to learn what works and what doesn't. This is how we fine tune our skills and master the tasks at hand. We do our children a grave disservice by stepping in to save them, unless it is a matter of safety.
We need to work together as a family unit, in a supportive but non-interfering way, to learn new skills and head toward the goal of independent, successful and harmonious lives. Focus on the future, but be right here in the present when dealing with each other.