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Advice
An angry customer is one of the most dreaded moments in
business. Absolutely no business owner is immune to them
no matter how hard they try. No matter how much they do.
Human nature indicates that sooner or later a customer will
get upset. Even downright angry. So what do you do?
It's one of the toughest moments in business and the urge
is to defend yourself. Fight back. However, one simple
tool will show you that fighting back is not the answer.
Fighting back fuels the emotion and makes matters worse.
The tool is understanding what lies underneath the anger.
Any psychologist will tell you that anger is a secondary
emotion. Scratch that away and you have only two choices.
The real root of the problem. Fear or hurt. That's it.
Under all that attack and all those abusive words is the
real root emotion of either fear or hurt.
Now if a friend came to you in tears, afraid or hurt, what
would you do? How would you handle it? Would you pour salt
on the wound? Would you fight back? Of course not. Compassion
dictates that you listen attentively to their feelings and
validate them. They might not be right, but at this point
in time they need to be heard, to be validated. If you can
keep the real emotion in mind, then you realize that it's
not a fight, it's a plea. In this way you can handle yourself
professionally and with a caring manner. This technique
helps you understand that it's personal only to them, no
matter what they say. However, you may have to post the
words Hurt Or Afraid on your computer monitor to remember.
The strange thing about anger is that it's rather like wolfing
your cookies. You tend to want to also. When someone comes
in for the attack, remember the underlying emotion and that
all the emotional outbursts are centered in the Limbic portion
of the brain. When a person is in the Limbic portion of
their brain, they are pure emotion, nothing else. Logical
reasoning cannot take place. This is why fighting back will
not work. You must take the higher, harder road.
Listen, talk quietly, validate, soothe. Once your customer
has calmed down, you can resolve the problem and thus the
root emotion. When you do this, your customer becomes bonded
to you in ways you won't believe. Their confidence in you
triples, their trust in you solidifies, and your future with
them is secure. Furthermore, they will sing your praises
forever. All it takes is a little understanding and you
can turn an angry client into a customer forever.