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Influencing People

by Daniel N Brown

Our success in life and in any endeavor will be
solely determined by how well we influence other people.

Every day we're confronted with situations where we need to
influence, lead and persuade people. From persuading your
children to clean their room, to convincing your boss to give you
a raise. It's all about influence.

Our ability to deal successfully with people determines the
quality of our business life, our family life, and our social
life. Ultimately, our success in life and in any endeavor will be
solely determined by how well we influence other people. Our
ideas will never see the light of day if we can't persuade others
why it's such a great idea.

Excellent influencing skills require a healthy combination of
interpersonal, communication, presentation, and assertiveness
techniques. But, there is no right way, nor is there only one way
to influence others. Everything is a factor when influencing
people.

Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" gives
an incredible insight into human behavior. If you've never read
this classic book I highly recommend it. There are also plenty of
other great books out there on people skills and human nature. It
would do us all good to gain more understanding on this vital
topic.

We must, absolutely, have a proper understanding of people and
their nature if we are ever to win others to our way of thinking.
When you gain a proper understanding, then, and only then, can
you become a successful person of influence.

Influencing is about being able to move things forward, without
pushing, forcing or telling others what to do. It's the ability
to work everything at your disposal, both verbal and non-verbal
communication, to create the impact you want, rather than letting
things just happen.

To best influence people you must have an understanding of
yourself and the effect or impact you have on others. It' s about
knowing how others perceive you. It can sometimes be looked at as
the ability to finesse another person. They become persuaded,
often unconsciously, into seeing and understanding your view .

If you can make people understand your view then they will be far
more willing to at least meet you halfway. Even more so if you
make them feel acknowledged, understood and appreciated. They may
even end up doing or agreeing to something they wouldn't have
previously done because they feel good about making the choice.

Now, here's a big secret to influencing people; make the other
person feel important and the more they will respond to you. It's
human nature for people to want to be recognized and to feel like
"somebody." It's been said about recognition, "Babies cry for it
and grown men die for it."

People will always respond in a negative way to you if you treat
then like a nobody, or talk down to them. I see this all the
time, particularly in families. Parents can't seem to understand
why their kids disrespect them. Often times, the parents are
talking down to their kids, belittling them, making them feel
like their ideas are stupid, and making them feel unimportant.

People could gain a lot of ground by first listening to others
without judgment and criticism, hearing what is important to
them, and hearing what will move them. When you know what will
move them, you will then know how to move them because you will
be able to tell them what they want to hear. You can simply show
them how they can get what they want by doing what you want.

Again, our successes in life will be greatly determined by how
well we influence other people. So, we need to learn all we can
about human nature and obtain great people skills so we may win
others to our way of thinking. When you gain a proper
understanding of human nature and hone your people skills, then
will you become a mighty successful person of influence.

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