I love stories of adventure. This week while browsing at a used book store, I came across a copy of The Endurance by Caroline Alexander. This book tells the exciting story of British explorer Earnest Shackleton and his legendary Antarctic expedition. The book is an absolute gem filled with plenty of astonishing photos of his crew's journey.

Loss is a fact of life. Yet, following loss, their needs to be a healthy healing, a healing that allows life not only to simply continue, but with joy and determination. What are the elements that make up healing? Whether suffering from a divorce, loss of a child, loss of a parent or loss of a spouse, we go through certain stages and reactions.

THE mental fog that had sheltered me emotionally during those first four months after my husband's death is slowly, and painfully, beginning to clear. Coincidently, this occurs just as the world around me appears to need me to get out and on with my life.

The loss of a spouse is one of the most difficult loses we experience as your entire day-to-day life is turned upside-down. The grieving process following this loss is divided into five time sequences of grief. One to four months would be called SHOCK, five to eight months of mourning is DENIAL, nine to twelve months is ANGER, thirteen to seventeen months is DEPRESSION, eighteen to twenty four months is INTEGRATION, ADJUSTMENT and TRANSITION.

The pain of grieving is there for all losses, whether spouse or lover. A partnership transcends labels and roles and one's partner is primary when a strong bond exists. Regardless of how the relationship is named, the pain of loss requires healing.